The Adventures of Tom Hare

My name is Hare, Tom Hare. And this here is my cactus - Spike.

I know what you're thinking Mister and Miss Smartypants. Oh, you might think me and Spike are harmless, you might even say "It's just a fluffy rabbit and a thornless cactus. Nothing to be scared of. Nothing at all!"

But that's where you're wrong. Dead wrong.

Yessir, we might look harmless to you, even cuddly and cute.

But who do you think the Cabbage Patch kids run to when their patches are cabbageless? Who do you think all the King's horses and men asked for gluing back Humpty? Who do you think told Dorothy to throw the bucket of water at the Wicked Witch?

Yeah.. You're looking at him.

Me and Spike here. We're what you would call, problem solvers. People from all sorts of places and all sorts of fairy tales come to me and Spike for help.

You have a problem? Come to us, we'll solve them. We can solve anything. For a price.

Curious eh? I know you are. People can't resist the Hare and the Spike. If you want to know more, come back tomorrow and I'll tell you about the time we helped that silly mouse Hickory run up the clock. Now shoo, you're holding up my clients. Come back tomorrow, and bring some carrots. Maybe I'll tell you, maybe I won't.




I'd seen that look a hundred times before, the look of someone carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders and needing someone to help lighten the load. No doubt about it - those eyes have seen trouble. Everything about this kid said they needed help. Help only I could provide. He approached quietly, cautiously. The carrots in his hand were top of the line, no generics for this one.

"I like your style, kid," I said, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. Then a small smile, no, grimace is more like it, played across his face. "You that Hare fella I've heard so much about?" he asked. All he got in return was "maybe I am and maybe I'm not."

"Well... if you are then I was uh.." he shifted his feet, looking at the ground he stood in. Clearly not the sort to ask for help, this one. For some reason, I felt a pang of kinship. I'd seen that look many times before in front of the mirror.

"Tell me what happened." I said gruffly, taking the carrots he had in his hands.

"There's this hill near our house where the well stands, you see." he began softly, as if ashamed of what he was about to say. "And it's my job to fetch the water from the well everyday."

"One day, I had just started to go up that hill when my sister decided she wanted to come with. She always tags along you know?"

"Yah, " I nodded, "Little sisters tend to do that."

He exhaled in agreement. "Well this morning we went up and there were trolls. Two teenage trolls but they were still big. I would have fought with them if they weren't that big. Honest!"

His eyes widened and he crossed his arms defensively. Not the sort to back down, this one.

"They wanted a toll - for fetching water. For protection from wolves and all sorts of unsavory characters. The thing is, there are no wolves near our village, not even a cub. Ever since that incident with Red, no wolf's ever been in the village in a long while. And believe you me, Mr. Hare... the only unsavory characters there were those two trolls."

I nodded in understanding. I had seen this con many times before. Trolls and other sort of magical creature took to preying on innocent villagers in order to make a quick buck. It did not bode well with me at all.

"So I told them no, my family has always fetched water from that well and we have never paid, not even a shilling for that water. My granmum said it was a gift from nature - that the water was to be shared, not exploited like this."

"Let me guess," I said munching on what seemed to be freshest carrot I've ever munched on. "They didn't take too kindly to that, did they?"

"No sir. The trolls, they picked me and tossed me down the hill. And my sister too. She didn't even do nothing!" he cried, fresh tears brimming from him eyes.

I laid a hand on the troubled boy's shoulder and squeezed it affectionately. "Don't worry kid, we'll get them for you."

"I'd appreciate it, Mr Hare. My family relies on that fresh spring water for our livelihood. Paying for it just wouldn't be fair."

Putting on my sunglassses, I stood up straight, carrot dangling from my mouth as I started to walk away. Pausing in my tracks, I turned around to look at Spike and raised my eyebrow. He had been standing there listening to the whole thing while the boy narrated his story and I knew he was as eager to take care of the meddlesome trolls as I was.

"Aren't you coming along then?"

Without a word, Spike lifted his roots up and began ambling towards me. Satisfied, I resumed my walking. I had a job to do.


Walking to the quaint little village where the boy lived took longer than I expected. On the way there, I kept getting the same reports from neighbors about the trolls. With each story I heard, I got more and more upset. I have always detested extortionists and from the looks of things, these two trolls were starting out young, too young. The intel I gathered revealed that the troll brothers came from the infamous Ogden crime syndicate. Their great grandfather was the same troll that terrorized the Billy Goat Gruff family years back. It seems that the rotten apple dd not fall far from the tree this time, as the brothers Olaf and Olav were cut from the same cloth as their grandfather.

By the time I got to the base of the hill were the well stood, it was almost high noon. The glare of the sun was beating down on me and I was thankful for my shades. Spike was standing a few paces behind me, no doubt surveilling the area for any signs of trouble. I should have told him not to bother, all the trouble that was in this place was at the top of that hill - in the form of two brothers.

I could see them even from where I was standing. There they were, leaning against that well, admiring the make shift sign they put up on the bricks. It read "Tool Fee - 10 shillings". Clearly not MENSA members, these two.

Walking up to them, I kept my furries pointed at the ground, careful to listen to any conversation they might be having. A little background on my targets makes my job a whole lot easier. As Nana Hareington used to say, "Use your mind, so as not to fall on your behind."

It was a good thing that I listened to my Nana. As I heard the little back and forth go on, I know that it was going to be beneficial to what I was planning to do.

"Why do we have a to put up a sign here Olaf?" the younger of the two said, picking his nose with his grimy pinkie.

"Because half-a-brain it lets people know how much they need to pay us!"

"Ooh.."Olav said, nodding in understatement.

"So how much do they need to pay us?"

"Aggh!! I don't know why I even let you come along here. Maman should have made you stay behind and leave me to my own!"

"Well cause, Maman said you should be nice to me more often and not always hit me in the head with a club!"

"Maman this, Maman that, is that all you can say, Maman's boy?" sneered Olaf.

Olav stomped his feet on the ground, causing some pebbles to fall my way. I ducked as fast as I could to avoid being hit.

"I am not a Maman's boy!"

"Sure" Olaf snorted. "You just do everything Maman tells you."

"Yeahh..." the younger and clearly less intelligent troll replied.

It took nearly a minute to realize the jibe. "Hey!!"

I had enough to know exactly what to do and I sprinted up the hill. Olaf and Olav noticed me immediately and flanked me from both sides.

"Well well well... If it isn't our first customer of the day."

"Good day, I've come to pay the toll fee to the Master Troll. Do I give the money to your servant sir?" I said, tipping my hat off and bowing to Olav, the younger of the two trolls.

I could tell that Olav wasn't used to being treated as the better of the brothers. He grinned menacingly and puffed out his chest.

"D-uhh! Yeah! That's me, Muh-master troll that is! You can give it to my brother Olaf."

But Olaf was clearly not pleased. He grabbed me in the hand and dangled me off the ground.

Sometimes, it really gets my carrots when I have to pretend to be defenseless. But you know, muscle isn't everything. If it was, I'd have made Spike walk up to these troll brothers instead of me.

"Whaddya mean servant? I hiz no one's servant! Especially not a Maman's boy like Olav!" he yelled into my ear.

I can tell you right now, that smelling a week's worth of meals in Olaf's mouth was not going to make it to my scent of the month.

"My apologies Master Troll" I squeaked, (thank you acting school with Miss Muppet!) pretending to quiver.

This is where things becomes interesting.

Didn't I tell you that I didn't need strength to beat these brothers? I didn't? Well now I did. Now watch closely boys and girls as we turn these two brothers against each other, like two dogs for a bone.

"Hey let him go Olaf!" protested Olav, clubbing his brother in the head. "He's a nice lil bunny and he called me Master!"

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me? A Maman's boy like you?" mocked Olaf, gripping tighter.

"You never never treat me good!" said Olaf, raising his club again. "No more! Olaf says no more!"

As Olaf started to swing his club towards Olav, the elder troll threw me to the ground, near the collection plate and lunged at his brother.

"You'll never call me a Maman's boy again!"

"Oh yeah?! Who's gonna stop me??"

"AARRRGGHHHHH!!!"

With a yell, Olaf charged at his brother like a bull - throwing him and Olav off of the hill and down to the thramble bushes below.

From what I heard, the fight went on until they reached the Ogden family home where they both got trounced by Mama Ogden and were reprimanded for leaving home and tearing their clothes to pieces.

They never went back to Hill Town again.

As for me? Well, I watched the fight in the safety and comfort of the shade by the well - one hand on the collection box and another nipping at one of the freshest carrots I've ever had.

A couple of minutes later, Jack ran up the hill with his sister Jill calling my name. Spike was right behind them, walking at a snail's pace while making sure no other trolls were around the vicinity.

"Mr. Hare, you were awesome!" cried Jack, jumping up in joy. "You sure showed them! Now we'll never have to pay toll again!"

"Better than that kid," I said, reaching for the collection box. "Here you should have this. Give the money back to the other people who got robbed by those trolls."

"Thank you Mr. Hare, " said Jack, clutching at his cap. "I hope you liked your carrots. We always have more at the farm if you want."

"Nah." I grinned, rubbing my furry tummy. "Too much of the good stuff will ruin my swag. What you gave was more than enough. Now scoot. Off with ya."

I watched as the kid and his sister ran back to their cottage. Truth be told, I would have wanted more of those yummy carrots. But I could tell that they needed it more than I did.

Beside me, Spike gave a grunt.

"Yeah... yeah. I know I'm a softie and we're going to lose our business if I keep doing that."

Another grunt.



©2011 All rights reserved.

AWWWW!
Tom Hare is sooo cute <3
You're a good artist, and author ;D
Can't wait till tomorrow, and I'll bring carrots too o:

Hahahaha, I loveeed the story!!!
You're a good author & artist!
"I remember when I helped hickory run up the clock"
So adorable! XD

Cute Story<3
I love his purple sunglasses

This is such a clever story! Can't wait for tomorrow

Oh- that is karenbearhug's painting! She calls the bunny Chuck's bunny and she asked me to write a story about him.

The painting is a work in progress - we'll repost him once he's all finished! Until then, stay tuned for part 2.

great job karen and chuck

Nice painting Karen! The color of Tom reminds me of noodles

OMG, Spike is magical, isn't he?!

Updated the story

Wow Admin you are a really good author. You should publish, and I'm serious. This story's got me hooked! Can't wait for tomorrow

Nice update
I wonder how they'll get rid of the trolls.

Updated!

I like your use of similes. I wonder what Tom's plan is?

Oh, and you should reread the first sentence of the second paragraph; a little spelling mistake ;D

Aww ! It's so cute and nice updated :]

whoa!!! awesome!!!!!

I really like the references of different fairy tales in the story.
That was a very enjoyable read!
You should really consider becoming a childrens book author.
All I can say is....
Pawsome Pawsome Pawsome!!
Loved it!!♥♥♥

Updated the story and the photo! Thanks to karenbearhug for the painting!

Spike is thornless cactus. But for your reference, here's another picture of Tom Hare beside a cactus with thorns!

Nice story! (: It's so cute! I think you should upload it to other sites made for literary works such as wattpad, fictionpress, or deviantart. You'll get better critiques there. Also, you could even look up a book publishing site where you can publish your story as an e-book! Just a suggestion though. ^^