my story that i wrote

by barbie6 Mon Jan 31, 2011 2:52 am

I wrote this story in 5th grade tell me what you think(its only part of the story)

It was 1941 December 4th in San Diego,California on the last day of school because of our Christmas vacation. Sarah, Anthony, and I were talking about what we're gonna do during the holidays. Sarah and I were going open presents for Christmas, then blow noisemakers and watch fireworks during the New Years. Anthony was going to Pearl Harbor in O'ahu, Hawaii. At the end of the day, Anthony,Sarah,and I rode home in Sarah's mom's, Mrs. Tang, car. I had a sad look on my face because Anthony was leaving in a few days. I knew Anthony since preschool and ever since then i really really like him. While Anthony was talking about something, I was thinking about the gift i was gonna give him for Christmas. Thinking about what he will think. Probably stupid. Then I started imagining about News Years day at night. Just me and Anthony watching fireworks ALONE! Then some random stranger started calling my name. "Izzy? Izzy?" I was wondering, where did the stranger come from? "IZZY!?!?" Poof! I'm back in Mrs. Tangs car. Turns out Sarah was calling me 'cause we were at my house. I said bye to Anthony and Sarah while I walked to my doorstep."Izzy?!?!" called Anthony. I turned around. "Yeah?" He looked sort of nervous. "Um never mind." I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Sometimes I don't understand you" He smiled back at me. "See you later Izzy." "Bye." The next day, I rode my bike to Sarah's house, so me and her can go to the park. Once Sarah and I got there, we got some pebbles and then followed the path to the neighborhood lake. The lake was sparkling like a star in the night sky. My eyes shined. Sarah grabbed a pebble, threw it in the lake, and made a wish. Her wish was to have chocolate cake with frosting. I grabbed a pebble and threw it into the lake. My wish was for Anthony not to go to Pearl Harbor.

that was part of the story what do you think so far